I Made It Through The Wilderness….

I’m back!!! I am alive. I have brushed my hair. I can stand upright. I’ve got some coloring back in my skin. I am no longer a raving, barfing bitch! Please, please, no applause!

But no seriously, it’s been a LONG time since I’ve last blogged and there’s really no explanation for it, other than I have had the WORST first trimester experience ever. My last post was at about 8 weeks and I thought I was in bad shape then, but these last 5 weeks have been unbearably miserable!

I started throwing up after every meal, every single day regardless of what or how much I ate. Oh, and every time the toothbrush just happened to touch my tongue, I was hurling over the toilet. My gag reflex is ridiculous. God, and let’s not talk about the heartburn I was having. Nonstop, every day, all day and all night. I’ve got acid reflux so I’m used to heartburn, but there were levels to this shit! After a few weeks, my glands were swollen, my throat and chest were sore; it hurt to swallow food or drink with extreme temperatures because my insides were so raw. I was eating Tums just about every hour. I went through a large container every week.

Because I was in between physicians for so long, I had to wait until I was about 12 weeks to get some medical intervention. I was given a prescription for the heartburn and for the nausea, which are godsends! For about two weeks now I have been heartburn and stomach ache free!!!

At my first ultrasound at week 6, Baby was just a little M&M with a heartbeat. It was exciting, but nothing compared to what things were like at my second ultrasound at week 12. It was a vaginal ultrasound, which is really fucking awkward and painful, but once that screen shot across a real life, moving, jumping, squirming little, actually real baby… I could have melted right off the table. THERE’S A HUMAN PERSON IN MY BODY!!!!!!! With legs, and feet, and toes, and fingers, and hands, and a face!!! I was there with my mom, which was bittersweet. It was cool she got to see the baby, but she sucked because she wasn’t my husband!

After the ultrasound, the doctor explained to me about some screening we could do to test the baby for Cystic Fibrosis (I think) and Down Syndrome. I was a little apprehensive because from what I’d known about this test through google, is that they test the amniotic fluid. First of all, there is a risk of miscarriage as the sac is basically “tampered with,” and second of all, there’s a really long needle involved and AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

She went on to explain the new test is done by a second ultrasound to measure the baby’s neck and a blood test done by finger prick and that’s it. We had that testing done yesterday! Two amazing outcomes of the testing was that finally, for once, I had an ultrasound that didn’t involve shoving anything up my crotch and this time Husband was there!!

His face… was incredible.

Oh, and apparently, we have a super smart, really gifted, talented ultrasound tech, because at just 13 weeks and 4 days, she’s “90% sure we’re having a boy.”

She showed us his little baby boy bits, and they did look like little baby boy bits, but I’m holding on strong to that 10%, because I want a girl, dammit.

Here’s some really cool ass ultrasound pictures for you guys!

Isn't this just the cutest.

Isn’t this just the cutest.

Shy Baby

Shy Baby

I keep hearing how LONG the baby's legs are... Husband and 6'4. Pray for my uterus.

I keep hearing how LONG the baby’s legs are… Husband and 6’4. Pray for my uterus.

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Heartbeats & Tummy Aches

Husband and I had our very first ultrasound the other day. It was a vaginal ultrasound, and I was beyond relieved I hadn’t taken my BFF along with us!!

Our GYN was a few days off, as our Little Manatee measured in at 6 weeks and 3 days. Husband got to see everything on the monitor first, so I got to watch his face.

As our nurse dimmed the lights, and shoved the ultrasound stick right into my lady parts, she began navigating my womb and explaining to him what she was seeing.

I don’t think I have ever seen such a vast combination of emotion in Husband’s face before. Our nurse was able to locate our Little Manatee, and explained that the little fluttering he saw, was the heartbeat. When she played the audio of the heartbeat, I was so caught of guard!!

I cried so hard! It was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. At first, I thought it was my own heartbeat, but she assured me it was Little Manatee’s! It was so strong, and so steady. I think in that moment, it hit me… there’s a baby, growing, in my belly.

A real baby…. WITH A HEARTBEAT!

When it was my turn to see the monitor, I was so amazed that something so small was causing me a world of pain!

The morning sickness has been more like an all day barf fest. And the abdominal cramps are very crampy and very scary. I just keep praying that nothing goes wrong, and that these cramps are normal.

Our nurse gave us ultrasound pictures to take home for Little Manatee’s grandparents.

This still feels totally unreal!