This Changes Everything: The Test. Part One.

* Disclaimer: If you follow our story through this blog, please be a friend and keep the following story here. We will transfer this news across the social media boards on our own, at the right time. Don’t beat us to the punch, FB friends, Twitter tweeters, and Instagramers! If you fail this mission, Jenn will be really mad and Husband will smash your house and eat your young. *

Something told me that this late period was going to be much different from any other late period I’d ever had. I haven’t even craved chocolate for God’s sake! Typically when my cycle is near, late or not, I’m a crying, bloated, killer for chocolate, hormonal, attitudinal ass mess! This month, something was off.

My period has, since my surgeries last August, become pretty regular. I can expect it to start at least between the 3rd and the 6th of each month, but as the 11th rolled around… I got a little worried. No spotting, no pink, no nothing.

I’ve been taking a handful of natural, holistic, of-the-earth supplements every day aimed at fixing my hormonal imbalance; reducing my excess estrogen, lowering my insulin, restoring the vitamin and nutrient deficiency, and replenishing my ecosystem of good bacteria via probiotics. I’ve even shed 10 pounds, and have modified my diet. No gluten, soy, or dairy; at least 75% of the time.

…But my period hasn’t come. My suspicion: My endometriosis has regrown and taken over my ovaries again and my PCOS has caused cysts to reform that are triggering irregular periods. It’s been almost a year since my laparoscopy, and I can’t believe I’m in the same physical condition already!

I went to see an endocrinologist on Monday the 10th and he gave me some amazing information about PCOS and thoroughly explained what Metformin is and how it would help me out. What I liked about him, versus my GYN, is that he aims to target my hormonal imbalance and it’s affect on my entire body, whereas the GYN wants to target the hormones keeping me from getting pregnant. I want to fix my whole body, not just pieces of it. I returned the following morning to have EIGHT viles of blood extracted for many tests. The nurses say he’s thorough.

June 11, I sat downstairs watching The Braxton Family Values, my guiltiest pleasure ever! Tamar is my absolute favorite next to Toni! The season’s been following her throughout her pregnancy, and I don’t know what came over me or what about my mini-marathon triggered my reaction, but I ran upstairs, dug through a box, found a pregnancy test and peed on it…

Two pink lines: one dark, one faint.

Later on when Husband got home, I took the second one I had stashed away.

…Two pink lines: one dark, one faint.

Immediately, we knew it had to be a reaction to the all-natural, holistic, medicine man, juju pills that I’ve been taking. There’s no way, one little month of natural supplements could find or create a loophole in my infertility to get us pregnant. It just doesn’t work like that.

On the 12th, Husband and I went to Walmart to get an electronic pregnancy test. At this point for shits and giggles. We aren’t convinced at all we’re pregnant. It’s not possible, but where is my period? Why aren’t my boobs sore? Why haven’t I gone batshit crazy for some chocolate?

Husband is really scared that something is wrong. We’ve worked so hard to stabilize my body so far, hell I’ve been DRINKING LIQUID SILVER, and now we could possibly be back to square one.

But that’s the thing with the pregnancy tests with the lines, no matter what it reads, you can always convince yourself of a faulty outcome.

As soon as we got home, I peed on the electronic pregnancy test in the bathroom downstairs. It showed me a blinking timer, which gave me enough time to run upstairs to Husband. Of course I find that he is in the bathroom himself, so I slide the pregnancy test under the door to him. A few moments later, I hear a roar of laughter, and I sort of slump down, is an overwhelming cloud of emotions…

…The test reads “Pregnant.”

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The Doctor Helps My Body, But Not My Pockets

I decided today that I’m going to take a break from my Lady Doctor. I’ve been seeing a new OB/GYN who specializes in homeopathic treatments, and although she’s amazing, she’s even more expensive. I’ve been seeing her regularly every two weeks for quite some time now, but I’ve got to stop, at least for a little while.

Husband’s been working really hard to support us on his income alone and these doctor’s visits are becoming a bit overwhelming for him financially, and for me physically. I was scheduled for a follow-up appointment tomorrow, but we’re so strapped for cash, I didn’t really have a choice but to reschedule. Besides our financial situation, I’m honestly not even sure what the point is for all these visits. Nothing seems to be working, but it’s costing me over $100 every time I leave her office, on medications alone, not including the copay!

Two weeks ago, I left her office with a small bag full of medications, all of which I listed in this post, and I honestly don’t feel or notice any difference. Let me just follow up with you really quickly on some of those medications.

I was given a big bottle of liquid silver, in which to consume 3 ounces daily. By the third day of consuming the silver I was in the worst shape ever. I was having terrible migraines, flu-like symptoms, and I even had a mild hallucination one morning! After doing some research, I discovered I was consuming Colloidal Silver, which isn’t even safe for consumption and according to everything I found online, doesn’t have any proven benefits! I immediately stopped taking it!

I was also prescribed a first-aid Silver topical ointment for the painful sex situation, and I’ve only used it a few times, but it has definitely helped! My lady parts were still a bit tender for a day or two after sex, but there was a significant change in the intensity. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel like I was having sex with a rusty fork. We’ll consider that a WIN!!

I was also prescribed estroDIM, which is supposed to block estrogen production and eat up the excess estrogen in my body. I take two doses daily. I don’t really know if I’m supposed to notice any changes in my body, but the ones I am noticing, I’m not thrilled about! I am breaking out like a teenager during puberty. I mean my skin looks disgusting! I RARELY break out on my back! It’s so gross! My face, my chest, and my back are all broken out and I’m miserable about it! I have always had an issue with breakouts, blackheads, and oily skin because 1) I don’t manage stress very well and 2) because that’s a telltale symptom of PCOS, but as of the past three weeks… I mean, eww. I don’t even want to leave the house. It’s embarrassing.

All in all, I’ve been taking some pretty strong probiotics and vitamins to support the estroDIM, and I’ve got a pretty awesome remedy for the painful sex thing, so I think I’ll just stop right here and take a hiatus from visiting her. Her products cost way too much for me to handle right now anyways. I’ve got enough of the estroDIM and probotics to last me the rest of the month, so I’ll revisit her some time in July. This will give Husband and I a chance to channel that money elsewhere, and I can have a break from pill popping!

There is, however, one doctor that I actually SERIOUSLY need to see…. A colon specialist…

Trouble Down Under

I’ve sort of been having a lot of trouble with my lady parts. This is not really new. My lady parts have actually been damaged goods for about two years now, and with the endometriosis and PCOS creeping around, everything from my body chemistry to my sex drive has really suffered.

When Husband and I were finally able to be together, in August 2011, after our long distance relationship from Seattle to Statesboro (a small little shit town about 3 hrs away from Atlanta), we fucked like doped up little horndog bunny rabbits. For a good 3-4 months, we’d rack up around 20 days of sex (each month), leaving 7 days to my period and the remaining days for soreness or something. How do I know this? I chart it. I used to make so much fun of my Seattle roommate for charting her period and sexual activity, but now I am so glad I ended up following suit…

Anyways, I started to notice that our sex days were starting to decrease; slightly at first, and then just suddenly. By February 2012, we were averaging between 2-5 days a month of sexual activity. At first, we contributed it to the stresses of him being a college student, and me working full time. Our schedules were very opposite. Between April-August, I started to notice how painful sex had become for me. No matter what the position, no matter how long the foreplay, sex was becoming severely painful. Like, having sex with a double-edged blade, sort of painful. Not only was the intercourse painful, but so were the following 5-6 days. My panties would feel like cardboard rubbing up against my skin, and my girly pieces were constantly swollen and red. I didn’t know what was happening to my body.

By the end of December 2012, I had had a surgery for Endometriosis, I had been diagnosed with PCOS, and was having a surgery to remove a lesion and pre-cancerous cells from my cervix. My doctor was also sure that this triad was the culprit for my painful sex, and assured me that this would no longer be an issue for us, and let’s face it, this problem was becoming an issue in my marriage.

Fast forward to May 2013, painful sex is still a theme in my life. I’ve invested countless hours on Google and WebMD, and have diagnosed myself with every possible infection, disease, disorder, and malfunction I can find. I’ve been seeing an OB/GYN in Lithonia who specializes in “everything woman” and who treats her patients with holistic medicines and treatments. Today was my follow up appointment to receive the results of the blood tests she had ordered from a previous appointment.

Most of my vitals were pretty normal. When it came to my hormone results, however, she was pretty shocked to see how high my estrogen levels actually were. I sort of anticipated this, as that’s what PCOS is all about. She explained to me in great detail what PCOS is and what it’s doing to my body. She explained in great detail what my results meant and for the first time since my diagnosis, I felt like I was finally getting some insight into the disease.
I ended up leaving with $93 dollars worth of prescriptions, and an interesting treatment plan. I honestly am not even sure what it is, but I’m desperate enough to try just about anything.

Here’s what she prescribed:

1. Argentyn 23: a homeopathic SILVER first aid gel. Not silver as in color. Silver as in, that’s the active ingredient. She says that silver is naturally antibacterial and that I should apply it on the areas that are usually sore and inflamed after sex, just in case the pain is coming from some sort of bacterial infection that didn’t show up on my results.
2. CDG EstroDIM: She says that this should help to “block” the estrogen production in my body, and “eat up” some of the excess. Excess estrogen is was is causing the greasy hair, the acne, the weight gain, and the annoying facial hair issues I’ve been having courtesy of PCOS AND is what causes the endometriosis to grow and spread.
3. Liquid Silver: Liquid silver, again not in color. She actually gave me a huge jug full of this liquid and said that the consumption of this liquid was help to eliminate the bad bacteria all throughout my body because I’ve been having some digestive trouble as well. The way she described it sounded like a pretty intense detox, but said that it might be one of the best things for me to help my immune system out.
4. Taylor MD Mineral Care Dietary Supplements: She says, “Oh I forgot to mention, you’ll probably have a really bad reaction to the silver. When your body is overwhelmed with dead bad bacteria, it takes a while to flush it all out, so you’ll probably feel a lot like shit.” This concoction of intense vitamins and minerals is supposed to help counteract the really shitty reaction that I am not looking forward to.
5. Ortho Probiotic Powder: Because we’ll be doing so much killing of the bacteria in my body, this should help me help my body restore the army of good bacteria, which should be present naturally. This is something she recommends I keep a part of my bodily upkeep.

I was the last patient to leave the office, with 5 medications in tote, and I left with my emotions pretty scrambled. One thing I did appreciate about my doctor was the fact that she supported every single one of my concerns. My goal is not exactly to get pregnant tomorrow (thanks to waiting the Peace Corps). I am not looking start fertility drugs next week either. What I do want though, is to get my body ready to carry a fetus. I want my body to be at a state of normalcy, and I would LOVE nothing more than to get pregnant without drug assistance. I would never want to carry a life in this shitty little body of mine in its current state. Most of all, I want to be able to make love to my husband again without my vagina feel like I dragged it across the driveway.

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The End is Only the Beginning

Today was the last day. The last day for the junk food, the last day for the bullshitting around with my exercise regimen, the last day for processed, packaged foods & products; the last day, I swear to everyone’s gods, to actively and willing sabotage our plans for having babies and living ‘til we’re old enough to die laying in bed together, wrinkled & crinkled, holding hands & gazing into each other’s bifocals. We have to, and by have to, I mean HAVE TO change our lifestyle habits: everything from what we eat, to the products we put on our skin, to our stress management, the WORKS. It’ll be a slow and frustrating process, we know, but we don’t have a choice.

I was recently diagnosed with Endometriosis. It’s a condition that basically means my uterine tissue grows on the outside of my uterus, implants on my organs and causes internal bleeding, INSANE menstrual crampage, lots of digestive issues and worst of all… infertility. I’ve also got PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), which basically causes a host of other issues like imbalanced hormones, weight gain, irregular periods, oily skin & acne and keeps my eggs from maturing into eggs. My body is extremely out of whack because I’ve spent the last 8 months on bottles of prescriptions and antibiotics from surgeries, biopsies, infections, and digestive troubles. It is more important than ever, to get my body chemistry in order, and I want to do so naturally.

So… that’s it. No more fast food, no more freezer bags and pre-made dinners, no more preservatives, additives, artificials, no more, no more, no more. Those things are full of chemicals that are offsetting my hormones and really making living with endometriosis are real B-word. So we’ll see… we’ve been juicing for the past few weeks and although I personally think veggie juice tastes like dirty water, I can definitely tell a difference in my body and my skin. Tommy loves it, which is weird because he turns his nose up at veggies like a 3 year old!

I guess in order to make a drastic change in your life you’ve got to draw the last straw. That’s pretty much where we are these days: The Last Straw. And we’ll cover it all here! This blog will be about more than just our journey to healthy eating. It’ll be about our battles with infertility, our struggles with our parents, our decisions about jobs and grad schools, our successes, our marriage, our travels, our pooch Apollo (who I promise was supposed to be my son), our Peace Corps process, and our lessons along the way. We’ve got a lot going on, and we’re just trying to figure shit out.

Juicing: Tastes like dirt, smells like shit, yet does the body GOOD!

Juicing: Tastes like dirt, smells like shit, yet does the body GOOD!